Dear Families of Exchange Students

Dear Families of Exchange Students,

Let's be honest: something changed when your kid first brought up that they wanted to study abroad during high school. Like, what the heck, kid?! You're not supposed to leave until after college! Once everything became official and you started telling people that your kid was spending x-amount of months in x-country, they said, "Are you crazy? I would never let my kid do that at such a young age!"
Yes, families, you are a little crazy. We exchange students thank you for that.
Naturally as the exchange unfolds, there's a lot more untouched territory that needs to be covered. Do's and Don'ts that come with being family members of exchange students are as follows:

■ Before they leave:
● Do-
• Help them with paperwork, packing, preparing, and basically anything they want help with
• Be supportive
• Make sure they're leaving home on good terms with everyone and feeling good about it all
● Do not-
• Ridicule their host country or culture
• Let them leave on a bad note

■ While they're on their exchange:
● Do-
• Ask if there's anything from home they'd like (to an extent, obviously. Do not mail you student their cat if they ask)
• Randomly message them to wish them a good day
• Give them space.  If they don’t message you it is not the end of the world
• Also messaging them pictures of their cat is good (hint, hint, Mom)
● Do not-
• Get mad or annoyed with them because you think they aren't making sufficient progress in learning their host language
• Get mad that your student may talk more to their friends than you, sometimes it’s easier to tell friends when you are feeling down than it is to talk to your parents
• Try to tell them everything that happens at home

■ When they return:
● Do-
• Let them rest
• Ask them questions, but not all at once.
• Ask them to try to cook food from their host country
• Put up with their new weird eating habits (example: putting yogurt on pasta, rice, anything really)
• Put up with their poor English skills. It's easy to forget a language when you don't use it to the same extent as you normally would
• Allow them to get frustrated with being back. Reverse culture shock is a real thing
• Let them miss their host country and family. Your student now has a home that might be an entire ocean away
• Listen to their stories, because you may be the only people they have left to talk to
● Do not-
• Tell them they shouldn't miss their host family so much and that they should just be glad to be back
• Be mad or disappointed in them if they're not fluent in their host language
• Make fun of their host country or culture
• Do not do not DO NOT ask them how their trip or vacation was. It was not a trip. It was not a vacation.
• Do not push them to do things they don’t want to do, reverse culture shock hurts and it takes time to adjust back to their home culture

A relatively short list of advice. Chances are, as the people who probably know the student the best, you know how much is best to talk to them. You probably know how to handle things in accordance to your specific student.
On another note, this is directed more toward parents, but other family members: if the shoe fits, wear it. To the parents: you guys rock. Gold stars to all of you.

Love,
An exchange student